Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Hope for Justice

Why am I starting this anonymous blog? Mainly for prayer support for my unborn babies' health, and for my own health as I grow closer to the time to give birth. My health is at risk, and because of that, so could be my babies' health. Our families' story is quite controversial, and over the next months I will share some of that, and ask for prayer for these issues. Some days are very painful for me, and so I will not write as much then, but over time I hope you get a picture of what to pray for specifically.

I am currently in my second trimester, and my neck spine is deteriorating because of an injury left to pull on it. I have yet to see a doctor for my pregnancy, but I know I  need to change that soon. Why haven't I seen a doctor yet? That too I will explain in the coming days/weeks. I also have 3 young school aged children.

I will start by telling you this. I was in a serious car accident over 4 years ago, and my injuries were not taken seriously, and when it became obvious I was getting worse, it became about cover up for specialists/doctors involved. Even though that meant I would continue to deteriorate, covering up was more important for these medical people, then treating me medically. If I had been able to have surgery on the injury that is pulling on my spine, causing the deterioration, that would have stopped me from getting worse. The same info I would need for accurate surgery, could also prove malpractice.

We sold our home at a great loss and went traveling to try to get help about 18 months after the accident. To  our surprise, it seemed the doctors and specialists did not want to get involved, I guess they could tell there was controversy though I emphasized I just wanted the info I needed to get accurate surgery and stop getting worse. After a while we gave up and came home. We did not have much money left, and did not want to throw what was left to the wind, trying to pursue this. What about our kids' future? We needed to do some wise financial planning for their sake, if my health was to continue to deteriorate and my husband needed to carry a heavier load.

And then, just before the 4th anniversary of our car accident, (which we got no money for - I will explain that later too), we found out to our shock that against great odds ( I call it a one in thirteen year chance), that I was pregnant. I have miscarried more than I have carried to term in the past, and the first baby we delivered was at risk in utero (sp?) as well. With my health and now in my mid- thirties I was surprised this baby 'stuck'.  And yet so far it has.

In this day an age when so little value is put on an unborn life, why would doctors, who denied me medical care, even though that meant my health would deteriorate (and I the mom of 3 young children at the time), care about the life and health of my unborn baby now? Will I get accurate info? As my baby grows this will put greater pressure on my spine, and one of the conditions I have (kyphosis?) if the doctors have been honest with me about that much, can cause partial and complete paralysis, loss of bowel control, and even death, if it continues to progress.

Is this a pro-life blog you ask? Well I am pro-life, but the purpose of this blog is not for the general pro-life movement, but for the (pro) life of my unborn baby, prayer for this little one and for me in the coming days. Comments will first be approved before appearing. I am not setting up this blog for sensationalism, I am setting it up for the life of my little growing one, because I believe God hears the prayers of his people. I am also setting this blog up for the sake of my older children as well, because the more health I can hold onto while they are growing up, the better for them as well. I so much long to be there for them, and having my health be denied, has cost them too, and I don't want it to cost them more dearly in the coming days/years as well.

Last night, when I woke after 5 hours of sleep, unable to go back to sleep because of the pressure that lying down for an extended period creates on my spine, giving me too much pain to sleep, I felt God stirring my heart to start this anonymous prayer blog for my little unborn baby. I told God it would be too hard, because typing creates a lot of pain for me (will explain that later too). The pain the last few days has been so severe, more severe than ever before. I told God I would start this blog if he would ease my pain for 4 days, and so when I got up later that morning, in a lot less pain then usual, and it stayed less the rest of the day, I took that as confirmation to start this blog once my husband got home (I am not extremely technical), and so here I am.

For this anonymous blog I will call myself 'Hope' though that is not my real name. And I will call my unborn baby 'Justice'. So the title of this entry is "Hope for Justice."


Hope (mom to unborn baby Justice)